Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

us vs. us
User avatar
Jamie Miller
FATBERG AHOY, CAPTAIN
Posts: 13098
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2004 3:26 pm
Location: Basement
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Jamie Miller » Wed May 20, 2009 2:29 pm

Ryzek_Mal wrote:Well, since someone actually seems interested in hearing it, here you go: http://www.sendspace.com/file/l2jz4m


I've got words. Honest appraisal:

The music is tolerable. The main "riff" is not one that might get the blood pumping but it's serviceable and melodic. Certainly a "real musician" is likely responsible for this song.

But these vocals! Are you serious? This cannot be a serious effort at music. You have to be a troll who produced this in under an hour using Garageband. Admit it. Come on. It sounds like a drunken, toothless, middle-aged man (possibly Danzig?) with a mouth full of gravel. I literally laughed out loud when I heard this. Give me incoherent growls from 15-year-old straightedge kids any day over this painfully embarrassing caterwauling.
Unsere Kleidung ist so schwarz, unsere Stiefel sind so schön.
Links, den roten Blitz. Rechts, den schwarzen Stern.
Unsere Schreie sind so laut, unser Tanz ist so wild.
Ein neuer, böser Tanz. Alle gegen Alle!
Paul Watkins
Let's Make This Post Legendary
Posts: 2762
Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 10:43 pm
Location: louisville
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Paul Watkins » Wed May 20, 2009 3:01 pm

mr. miller, that was amazing.


you should just let loose on more topics.
OWENS
Forum Super Soldier
Posts: 423
Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 12:37 am

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by OWENS » Wed May 20, 2009 3:21 pm

You guy's are starting to embarrass me...I'm thinking that I need to start a course on "how to heckle and retort"

First off, homeboy is right about the blues scales. The one thing the music world really needs is more pentatonic based songs...because the pentatonic scale is the most creative, interesting, unpredictable and underused pattern of notes in all of songwriting history. It also requires an EXTREME amount of skill to be able to conquer this performance feat, so it's understandable why the pentatonic blues scale is so rarely heard in music, because probably only the top 0.00000001% of songwriters and musicians can truly grasp it's intricate complexity.

It used to be a Tuesday night ritual for me to go to R-Place Pub, do some shot's with James St. James, exchange friendly musician jabs with the late great Dave Ernspiker and request all of my favorite songs off of In Rock that I knew the Big Rock Show couldn't play...all whilst listening to the the best Van Halen covers the city had to offer. It was there that I first started to realize what it meant to be a real musician and play in a real band...

However...

It wasn't until one fateful night at Diamonds where I ran in to Chico who convinced me to walk down the street to observe a "Really Real Rock Band", the Jefferson Tarc Bus, that I became truly enlightened. To this day I can never forget the powerful image of greatness that was my first Tarc Bus experienced...I walked in the door of Dutch's Tavern just in time to see the Singer, guitar and bass player all sitting on stools and doing synchronized kicks to the chorus of Night Moves...it was amazing...
"Talkin' bout some (kick) Night Moves!"

And on the next chorus Chico, in his tuxedo t-shirt and smoking jacket even accompanied the synchronized kicks with at stick twirl!

I had never seen such stage presence! These guys were true performers. Watching them serenade the two dancing drunk women and disinterested pool players I realized how stupid I had been my whole musical career. I mean, why should I bother putting out records and traveling all over North America and Europe when I can just tour Louisville?! It's Genius! Think of the gas money we would save...I could hit all of the whole in the walls in st. Mathews and Clifton during the week and then score some sweet gigs at Phoenix Hill or Creekers on the weekend....plus I could always go home to my own comfortable bed and never have to worry about waking up in some strange place like Prague or Budapest ever again!

Lastly, ANYONE who has EVER been on a safari knows that you go to Jim Porters to catch a cougar, not Phoenix Hill.
mono_ vs_stereo
Message Bored Minion
Posts: 111
Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:09 pm
Location: louisville
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by mono_ vs_stereo » Wed May 20, 2009 3:43 pm

Owens for the win.
User avatar
Darringer
Message Bored Minion
Posts: 289
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:56 pm
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Darringer » Wed May 20, 2009 4:41 pm

OWENS wrote:Lastly, ANYONE who has EVER been on a safari knows that you go to Jim Porters to catch a cougar, not Phoenix Hill.


True. A nice post-Thanksgiving meal destination.
db
Master and Commander
Posts: 1321
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 6:00 pm
Location: Boo-shell

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by db » Wed May 20, 2009 4:56 pm

The pentatonic scale is rarely heard now? Not on classic rock radio anyway, and I'd argue that it's less complex than the major scale for the simple fact that it's composed of less notes. I abandoned the pentatonic for the most part myself when I discovered the triumphant glory of the harmonic minor scale. Discovering the great master Ali Farka Toure's utilization of it to such incredible effect cemented my dedication to it. Of course, one doesn't need any knowledge of scales to write a great melody or song. I was stunned while demonstrating a song I had brought in to VRKTM practice once that Jason Hayden didn't even know what a G chord was. That guy can play circles around me, and apparently, he's doing it with his ear and heart alone.

I agree with Ryzek Mal that songwriting and melody are vitally important. They have been central to my existence since I was about 15. The song he posted ain't my thing. Whatever. It's obvious he'd feel the same about my music. I will suggest, Mr. Mal, that you ask your friends in the Villebillies what they think of the local hardcore scene. Demi, Justin and Adam were all die-hard Hedge fans, and I'm sure would cite their experiences going to hardcore shows as part of their inspiration for making music in the first place.
It's all illusory. It's ill and it's for losers.
User avatar
Ryzek_Mal
N00Benstein
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed May 13, 2009 12:31 pm

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Ryzek_Mal » Wed May 20, 2009 5:38 pm

Old Man of the Mountain wrote:painfully embarrassing caterwauling.


Yeah, and I suppose you could do better? I've got news for you: Steve is being courted by a few labels right now, and shares an agent with MANY nationally recognized acts. Has your band ever toured with Saliva? How about festivals with Evanescence? It sure looks to me like "painfully embarrassing caterwauling" is the way to go. And oh yeah - he's had LESSONS - maybe that's why you're having trouble appreciating it.

To Mr. "OWENS," guess what? I've been to Prague, and I prefer Springhurst.

To "paulw," why don't you follow your own advice? (Be sure to make your spree at Chuck E. Cheese, Discovery Zone, or wherever your ilk hang out.)
User avatar
Josh Muller
Forum Super Soldier
Posts: 800
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:27 am
Location: Washington, DC
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Josh Muller » Wed May 20, 2009 6:09 pm

Ryzek_Mal wrote:Has your band ever toured with Saliva? How about festivals with Evanescence?
Image
Anghrist
Forum Super Soldier
Posts: 465
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2009 4:49 pm

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Anghrist » Wed May 20, 2009 7:50 pm

Иду на вы!
OWENS
Forum Super Soldier
Posts: 423
Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 12:37 am

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by OWENS » Wed May 20, 2009 8:45 pm

db wrote:The pentatonic scale is rarely heard now? Not on classic rock radio anyway, and I'd argue that it's less complex than the major scale for the simple fact that it's composed of less notes.


Twas jokes dave, jokes.
User avatar
Jamie Miller
FATBERG AHOY, CAPTAIN
Posts: 13098
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2004 3:26 pm
Location: Basement
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Jamie Miller » Wed May 20, 2009 8:57 pm

Josh Muller wrote:obvious troll is obvious


seriously
Unsere Kleidung ist so schwarz, unsere Stiefel sind so schön.
Links, den roten Blitz. Rechts, den schwarzen Stern.
Unsere Schreie sind so laut, unser Tanz ist so wild.
Ein neuer, böser Tanz. Alle gegen Alle!
db
Master and Commander
Posts: 1321
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 6:00 pm
Location: Boo-shell

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by db » Wed May 20, 2009 9:43 pm

uhhhhhhh.....I'm a bit slowwwww.....
It's all illusory. It's ill and it's for losers.
OWENS
Forum Super Soldier
Posts: 423
Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 12:37 am

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by OWENS » Wed May 20, 2009 10:25 pm

Ryzek_Mal wrote:To Mr. "OWENS," guess what? I've been to Prague, and I prefer Springhurst.



That's cool, I've been to Sprinhurst and I prefer Shively.

What did you do when you were in Prague? Did you get any prostitutes? I've only been there on tour and have always been too busy playing shows to do any touristy type things.
Matt Wieder
Forum Super Soldier
Posts: 494
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 10:23 pm

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Matt Wieder » Wed May 20, 2009 11:13 pm

My band has played with Saliva :D
lee
Let's Make This Post Legendary
Posts: 3545
Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2004 8:23 am
Location: Vero Beach, Florida

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by lee » Wed May 20, 2009 11:20 pm

db wrote: Demi, Justin and Adam were all die-hard Hedge fans, and I'm sure would cite their experiences going to hardcore shows as part of their inspiration for making music in the first place.


I work with two Villebillies. Both are good dudes who are big fans of hardcore music. Unlike the evil Ryzek.
User avatar
quasar
Shen-Long of the Internet
Posts: 8561
Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:10 pm
Location: Payne Street Gutter

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by quasar » Thu Jun 04, 2009 6:26 pm

I agree with Mr. Owens. The blues scale is the rarest, most difficult feat one can attempt on a guitar. I mean that shit is hard, dude. I once had to give Mark Maxwell a huge blow job behind the Bud Tent as he stuffed my mother's ass full of lit firecrackers just so he would show me how... just how this marvel of musical science could be completed. It was stinky.. but I learned that blues scales can only be performed by wizards like... Stevie Ray Vaughn (RIP) and that my mom REALLY likes to have her colon seared with illegal gunpowder.

So I congratulate Ryzek_Mal and all of his friends for completing this triumph. In addition, I am glad he uploaded the masterpiece, High on Rock, to show us neophytes that vocals should be drowned in effects and that the more you sound like everyone else, the better your life will become.

So all you losers on this board who want to play... "original music" should give it up until you can play "Hurts so good" by Mellencamp so good (!) that it makes the alluring aroma of gut cheese from Valley Station fat girl waft through the halls of Phoenix Hill Tavern like sex gland fart from a musk ox. I mean, without Ryzek's friends and musical colleagues (and their inspiring music) we would never have.... date rape, the need for dentists, rusty clothes hangar abortions in the back of pick-up trucks during the finale of the Machine Gun Shoot, McGriddles OR Columbine.

Praise Teen Pregnancy! right now.
User avatar
motherfuckingcaptain
Message Bored Minion
Posts: 281
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2007 2:03 pm
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by motherfuckingcaptain » Thu Jun 04, 2009 6:50 pm

quasar wrote:I agree with Mr. Owens. The blues scale is the rarest, most difficult feat one can attempt on a guitar. I mean that shit is hard, dude. I once had to give Mark Maxwell a huge blow job behind the Bud Tent as he stuffed my mother's ass full of lit firecrackers just so he would show me how... just how this marvel of musical science could be completed. It was stinky.. but I learned that blues scales can only be performed by wizards like... Stevie Ray Vaughn (RIP) and that my mom REALLY likes to have her colon seared with illegal gunpowder.

So I congratulate Ryzek_Mal and all of his friends for completing this triumph. In addition, I am glad he uploaded the masterpiece, High on Rock, to show us neophytes that vocals should be drowned in effects and that the more you sound like everyone else, the better your life will become.

So all you losers on this board who want to play... "original music" should give it up until you can play "Hurts so good" by Mellencamp so good (!) that it makes the alluring aroma of gut cheese from Valley Station fat girl waft through the halls of Phoenix Hill Tavern like sex gland fart from a musk ox. I mean, without Ryzek's friends and musical colleagues (and their inspiring music) we would never have.... date rape, the need for dentists, rusty clothes hangar abortions in the back of pick-up trucks during the finale of the Machine Gun Shoot, McGriddles OR Columbine.

Praise Teen Pregnancy! right now.

awe inspiring mr.colvin...absolutely awe inspiring.
User avatar
Ryzek_Mal
N00Benstein
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed May 13, 2009 12:31 pm

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Ryzek_Mal » Thu Jun 04, 2009 8:21 pm

quasar wrote:Blah fucking blah.


Wow, jealous much? First off - I did not, in any way, ever say that blues scales were "difficult," or any kind challenge, I simply hinted that many of the folks on this message board, more likely than not, haven't even the most rudimentary understanding of actual music theory. Keep your hillbilly "firecrackers in buttholes" fantasies to yourself, Mr. COLVIN (thanks, "motherfuckingcaptain.")

Also, as far as "High On Rock" goes, I couldn't care less if you don't appreciate studio skills, and the use of modern technology. The fact of the matter is that "High On Rock" has sold six-plus orders of 1,000 copies. Wow, what a waste of time and money those effects are. It's obvious that Steve's vocals are a little too intelligible for you.

Oooh, Valley Station redneck references! Bashing Phoenix Hill! Very creative. I've got news for you, sir: my friends and I never NEED to date-rape. We're just lucky, I guess.

My god, I cannot believe that this conversation is still going on.
User avatar
Phillip Olympia
Forum Super Soldier
Posts: 965
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 9:05 am
Location: Louisville
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by Phillip Olympia » Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:45 pm

Ryzek_Mal wrote:
quasar wrote:Blah fucking blah.


Wow, jealous much? First off - I did not, in any way, ever say that blues scales were "difficult," or any kind challenge, I simply hinted that many of the folks on this message board, more likely than not, haven't even the most rudimentary understanding of actual music theory. Keep your hillbilly "firecrackers in buttholes" fantasies to yourself, Mr. COLVIN (thanks, "motherfuckingcaptain.")

Also, as far as "High On Rock" goes, I couldn't care less if you don't appreciate studio skills, and the use of modern technology. The fact of the matter is that "High On Rock" has sold six-plus orders of 1,000 copies. Wow, what a waste of time and money those effects are. It's obvious that Steve's vocals are a little too intelligible for you.

Oooh, Valley Station redneck references! Bashing Phoenix Hill! Very creative. I've got news for you, sir: my friends and I never NEED to date-rape. We're just lucky, I guess.

My god, I cannot believe that this conversation is still going on.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaah

please more.
User avatar
motherfuckingcaptain
Message Bored Minion
Posts: 281
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2007 2:03 pm
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by motherfuckingcaptain » Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:12 am

Ryzek_Mal wrote:
quasar wrote:Blah fucking blah.


W Keep your hillbilly "firecrackers in buttholes" fantasies to yourself, Mr. COLVIN (thanks, "motherfuckingcaptain.")

?????????..man this guy is good.Image
User avatar
xPeterx
Forum Super Soldier
Posts: 929
Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:09 pm
Location: Louisville
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by xPeterx » Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:41 am

Ryzek_Mal wrote:
I simply hinted that many of the folks on this message board, more likely than not, haven't even the most rudimentary understanding of actual music theory.


t's true, if you don't understand music theory you cannot possibly play anything original or interesting. Just ask all those great bands like Saliva who have dedicated their lives to learning the ins and outs of modes and transposing them instantly to achieve that which is rock. There are only 12 notes to play bro, how hard can it be? Besides I'm still working on that pesky blues scale myself.

Dave Bowman wrote: My god, it's full of stars.


Yes, yes it is.
Through Being Tight.
evenmoregeneric
Forum Super Soldier
Posts: 784
Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:06 pm

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by evenmoregeneric » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:28 am

Ryzek_Mal wrote:
quasar wrote:Blah fucking blah.


Wow, jealous much?

Dude, you have the weakest troll game I've ever seen.

"jealous much?"

Really? Seriously? That's all you've got? Yeah, I'm sure he's still drying the tears from his pillow.

Ryzek_Mal wrote:My god, I cannot believe that this conversation is still going on.


Well, at least you have the whole "master of unintentional irony" thing going for you . . . . .
no fun
Let's Make This Post Legendary
Posts: 2708
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:26 pm
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by no fun » Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:56 pm

hstencil wrote:
Dormant Posers

I’m wondering who thought a two-page article on Duncan Barlow was a good idea (LEO Weekly, April 22). Near as I can tell, a minor local talent from 20 years ago who now lives out of state and teaches English isn’t exactly newsworthy. I’m guessing the point of the article was to drum up nostalgia in people for that bygone hardcore scene. My question is ... who’s missing it?

Speaking as someone who was in high school from 1987-1991, let me offer my memories of that time. “Hardcore” was a label attached to any youthful band that played loudly (and usually badly) and screamed even louder. The music was neither melodic nor catchy, and I would go so far as to say barely tolerable. These bands were stuck playing “all ages” shows at venues like Tewligans. It was hard to tell if the audience (mostly 14-17-year-olds) was actually there because they liked the music, or if it was just a place they could hang out at night.

Although there was a big “straight edge” movement at the time, most of these “musicians” spent their time hanging out in someone’s basement, getting high and trying to cash in on their celebrity by working their way into the pants of some clueless 15-year-old girl.

The scene was sad, dirty and mostly pathetic. I remember all of my real musician friends at the time making fun of everyone involved in the scene. Seriously, LEO ... let sleeping posers lie.

Ryzek Mal, Springhurst


this is bullshit, everybody knows that the musicians around here fuck 18 year old girls
no fun
Let's Make This Post Legendary
Posts: 2708
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:26 pm
Contact:

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by no fun » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:04 pm

Ryzek_Mal wrote:
quasar wrote:Blah fucking blah.


Wow, jealous much? First off - I did not, in any way, ever say that blues scales were "difficult," or any kind challenge, I simply hinted that many of the folks on this message board, more likely than not, haven't even the most rudimentary understanding of actual music theory. Keep your hillbilly "firecrackers in buttholes" fantasies to yourself, Mr. COLVIN (thanks, "motherfuckingcaptain.")

Also, as far as "High On Rock" goes, I couldn't care less if you don't appreciate studio skills, and the use of modern technology. The fact of the matter is that "High On Rock" has sold six-plus orders of 1,000 copies. Wow, what a waste of time and money those effects are. It's obvious that Steve's vocals are a little too intelligible for you.

Oooh, Valley Station redneck references! Bashing Phoenix Hill! Very creative. I've got news for you, sir: my friends and I never NEED to date-rape. We're just lucky, I guess.

My god, I cannot believe that this conversation is still going on.


ahah, you choose to date rape. "high on cock"
sucker
Message Bored Minion
Posts: 133
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:36 pm
Location: Barret Avenue

Re: Best LEO Letter to the Editor Ever...

Post by sucker » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:34 pm

i don't understand why this is still going. this so called Mal motherfucker is getting a hard on and jerking off just waiting for a reply to what he started. leave it alone, and wait for him to say it in person at a show. that shit won't happen will it? GOOFY MOTHERFUCKER!
Post Reply